Thursday, November 12, 2009

Guide to the August, September, and October Posts

How the August, September and October Posts Might be Helpful To Parents, Youth, Counselors, and Others

Note: The posts are longer than most people will read on line. Download any sections you want to spend more time with.
Untangling vicious cycles, and better coping with stress can help reduce anger, fear, and other emotions in these times of unemployment, loss of housing, and other problems.

Summary of August, September and October Posts
  • October Apply the insights from the previous post (What Keeps You Stuck in a Vicious Cycle?) Use those ideas to get unstuck from these patterns:
  • Arguing and Temper Problems
    Inconsistency Cycles
    The Whine-Give in Cycle
    Triangulated: "Caught in the Middle"
    Child Abuse Feeding Anger and Rebellion
    Scapegoating
    Scapegoating Combined with Other Cycles

    Plus discussions of these topics:
    What if Everyone Your Know Beats Their Kids?
    What if You Stop, But Someone Else in the Family Keeps on Nagging, Blaming, etc.?
    And Several Other "What-if" Discussions

    Find out here what keeps people stuck in a vicious cycle. You've identified a cycle, but you keep slipping back into it. Why?
    Whose fault is a vicious cycle? Usually it's no ones fault! Remember Blame the Cycle, not the Other Person, not Yourself.

    Learn what I mean by a cycle and how to recognize cycles in your family or classroom. Some of the most painful problems in families reflect vicious cycles. We aim to replace those with cycles of love and support. (We also recognize that sometimes the feeling of love might not be there, but you can still have a policy of love: supporting the other person's healthy goals.)

    This section features links to one of the most popular sites on the Internet, where award-winning writer Vanessa Van Petten and her teen bloggers give adults a unique view into the way things look to teens.
  • September Of course I don't mean throw them into the trashcan. I mean to help you find vicious cycles--for example, where one person nags ("reminds") and the other avoids chores. I want you to understand the misery they create for families or classrooms. (Or dormitory roommates for that matter.)
    In the next few posts on cycles, I hope to show you some ways to get unstuck

    What a Resilient Child Ought to be Able to Say (Continued)
    Here is the last group of abilities of a resilient youth (or adult.) They are in the form of statements a resilient youth or adult ought to be able to make.
    Use these three sections on resilience to find out what your kids or pupils need in order to cope better with stress.
    As in Part 1 and Part 2 in August, I've included Do and Don't suggestions of ways an adult can support stress-coping or resilience.
  • August This posting offers suggestions for Internet safety for youth. And just for a change of scene, I've included a brief description of Ordinary Wolves, a fascinating account of a boy growing up in the wilds of the far north. He and his family show resilience and then some.

    Here is the second group of abilities of a resilient youth (or adult.) They are in the form of statements a resilient youth or adult ought to be able to make.
    Use these three sections on resilience to find out what your kids or pupils need in order to cope better with stress.
    As in Part 1 and Part 3, I've included Do and Don't suggestions of ways an adult can support stress-coping or resilience.

    Here is the first group of abilities of a resilient youth (or adult.) They are in the form of statements a resilient youth or adult ought to be able to make.
    Use these three sections on resilience to find out what your kids or pupils need in order to cope better with stress.
    As in Part 2 and Part 3, I've included Do and Don't suggestions of ways an adult can support stress-coping or resilience.
    These ideas come from a Civitan-sponsored study of coping by youth in some fourteen countries around the globe.
  • Better coping with stress can help reduce anger, fear, and other emotions in these times of unemployment, loss of housing, and other problems.

No comments:

Post a Comment