Wednesday, October 6, 2010

New! Excerpts from Stressed Family, Strong Family on AmericanConfusion site

Now available, extensive excerpts from Stressed Family, Strong Family at this link

Here's a list of the main sections on that AmericanConfusion site:

Wow! Strengths!
Kids' Quiz
Help! Stress Ahead!
Bounce Back from Stress
Reduce Stress. Recycle Your Family
Serious Conditions: Stress Disorders

Here is the section from
describing Help Me Cope! in the Kids' Quiz section of 
This quiz enables kids to tell parents what would
help them cope better with stress and challenges.

Welcome to Help Me Cope! - an educational quiz for youth ages 6 to 21.
You'll find sample Kids' Quiz questions below.
After filling out the quiz, a youth and his or her parent
can discuss ways to increase resilience--the ability to handle stress or a crisis.
I developed Help Me Cope! on the basis of my  40 years of experience
as a child and family psychiatrist,
helping young people and families cope with many different sources of stress.
    Young people face lots of stress and can sometimes feel overwhelmed. 
But they also have great natural resilience - the ability to deal with stress,
to be flexible, and to bounce back from problems. 
    Help Me Cope! is designed to let young people
and the adults in their lives develop that resilience.
    How to use Help Me Cope!     
    By answering at least some of the quiz's 38 questions, a young person
can get a clearer understanding of their own resilience.They discuss their answers
with their parent or another adult.

  Now here are the sample questions.
1. I know when I'm feeling stressed-- my hands shake,
or I feel short of breath, or my heart speeds up,
or I feel scared, angry, dizzy, can't keep my mind on things,
want to escape or leave the situation, or I get other feelings such as:________________________
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don't know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/

 2. I'm learning how to face my fears and cope with stress
    from seeing how others cope, or
    from asking others how they cope, or
    from figuring things out for myself, or
    from reading or seeing a video about how to cope, or
    in some other way
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don't know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/

3. I'm learning to stay calm, relax, not feel stressed, and find ways to solve the problems that I'm faced with
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don't know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/
4. I can ask people in my family, or outside my family, how they cope with bad things or family stress
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don't know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/
5. My parents will help if a son or daughter in the family is stressed out and upset, or something bad happens
            /__/ our parent understands and doesn't get mad or yell
            /__/ our parent takes the time to listen
            /__/ asks how we're doing
            /__/ tells us about things they did as a kid to feel better
            /__/ our parent will talk to a teacher about a son's or daughter's need for extra help
            /__/ our parent asks us what we have already tried
            /__/ or what we want to try to make the situation better
True /__/          Not True /__/          Don't know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/
6. If we feel stressed, my family knows when to leave each other alone and not make things worse
True /__/          Not True /__/          Don't know, or Does not Apply to My Family  /__
7. If there's stress, or something bad happens, my family show they care about each other
            /__/ ask each other how they feel, if they're OK
            /__/ ask why they're mad, scared or upset, what's bothering them
            /__/ tell each other how to get through bad times
            /__/ tell each other how to help ourselves
            /__/ tell each other how to cope
            /__/ tell each other what's the right thing to do
            /__/ give each other hope and courage to go on

True /__/          Not True /__/          Don't know, or Does not Apply to My Family  /__/
8. Even if people in the family feel stressed out, we help each other feel better; we talk about the problems, find ways to cope, look for help outside the family, (see other ideas in # 7) 
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don't know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/
9. I get regular exercise, work out, or play sports to forget my troubles and keep fit and strong
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don't know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/
10. I've heard people say, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." I try to follow this advice--I don't sit around and wait for someone else to solve my problems. I try to make things better for myself.
True /__/         Not True /__/            Don't know, or Does not Apply to Me /__/
 That's the end of the sample questions. There are 38 in all. 
After completing as many or as few items as he or she wants, the youth can discuss problem items with a parent or counselor.


  1. nice blog... have a view of my blog when free.. (A Growing Teenager Diary) .. do leave me some comment / guide if can.. if interested can follow my blog...

    1. I haven't been checking my own site as often as I should. (Have been working on some other things, most recently a piece on hope, love, faith and resilience.
      Apologies for the late response, and my hopes and best wishes for finding sources of support when you need them'
      Bill Taylor