Stressed Family, Strong Family

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HshQidqYxjg&fea...

2012-04-05T03:55:46.126-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HshQidqYxjg&feature=relmfu

Here's my suggestion to other scapegoats: Go ...

2012-04-05T03:49:54.420-04:00

Here's my suggestion to other scapegoats:

Go to college

Overshadow the golden child's achievements

Get isolated from the family

Collect your free ticket out of the crazy farm.

They think insanity is normal and normality is abnormal.

Step one:

You try to conform

Step two:

You fail

Step three:

You move on

Step four:

You start living for yourself.

I haven't been checking my own site as often a...

2012-03-15T19:45:24.951-04:00

I haven't been checking my own site as often as I should. (Have been working on some other things, most recently a piece on hope, love, faith and resilience.
Apologies for the late response, and my hopes and best wishes for finding sources of support when you need them'
sincerely,
Bill Taylor

get help and stay with it. it works.

2012-03-11T23:52:22.168-04:00

get help and stay with it. it works.

Holy Crow - this is unbelivable - this is my life....

2012-03-11T23:49:27.402-04:00

Holy Crow - this is unbelivable - this is my life.

That was a beautiful comment. I am a scapegoat for...

2012-01-16T17:29:06.007-05:00

That was a beautiful comment. I am a scapegoat for my family an have also become one in other social circles because it is something I have fallen into easily. It started when my father figure grandfather died and my actual father had to go in for an operation for a brain tumor. The pressure on the family was unbearable and I got the blame. My Dad also works from home and has a cleft palette and is an angry and bitter man. I am also the eldest child (female), with a younger brother. My mother sends me to therapy tells me I have problems e.g. BPD. But I have anger outbursts because my brother who I even have cared for and worried about his whole life blames me for the familys problems. Some days I want to kill myslef, some days I feel like such a defected person that I don't want to leave the house. But I will fight this.

Thank you for your post. You have no idea how com...

2012-01-08T15:33:49.860-05:00

Thank you for your post. You have no idea how comforting that is to read. I still suffer a great deal of mental confusion about what "really" happened and what is "correct", "what I caused to happen to me", and "what I'm really like". My confusion and anxiety and attempts to resolve them have worn out a lot of therapists and 12-step sponsors, and every time one of these relationships tank, it adds to my confusion and self-blame. I would give anything to have mental clarity. I am in my late fifties and now suffer from a lot of stress-related fatigue, irritability, and body aches. I know that the scapegoating in our family is multi-generational - I can even name which of my cousins (like me) are vilified and treated with contempt and hostility by the rest of the family. I think if I could get some clarity on what "secret" the family is protecting, that would go a long way. The other family scapegoats, like me, are very sensitive and introverted, and the rest of the family is very aggressive, materialistic, successful in finance and business, and achievement-oriented. Fortunately, I have finally found a wonderful workplace where my strengths are nurtured and appreciated, and I am also an artist. I try to give back as much as I can to the 12-step and artistic communities to which I belong, and my husband is a constant source of loyalty, support, and love. I realize that for someone in my shoes, I have a LOT to be grateful for, and not a day goes by when I don't thank the Universe for what I have.

Wow, thank you for your post. Never looked at myse...

2011-08-07T11:27:42.352-04:00

Wow, thank you for your post. Never looked at myself as being special for being my siblings scapegoat.

Here is how it works. I was the straight "A&...

2011-07-22T16:05:39.869-04:00

Here is how it works. I was the straight "A" Golden Child in my family until 8th grade when problems climaxed between my parents. The Scapegoat role began at age 12. My younger sister got left at school and my mother was embarrased and blamed me and I ended up with stitches and a lifelong scar on my upper lip. By high school I was cutting school and running away from home. At 15 I was labeled "incorrigible" by the Courts. One night, at 15, I took my youngest sister out in a cab and when we returned the house was on fire. My mother was nowhere to be found all night long, but I was blamed for the fire because I wasn't home and dropped off at the JAIL the next day to be "dealt with". My family talks about me like I'm a dog and then deny it when confronted. Last year I confronted them so they later bragged about how they went all Thanksgiving weekend without discussing me (I wasn't invited). CRAZY!! Anyway....
The Scapegoat must have two characteristics in order to be able to perform their function:
1) They must be the strongest.
The Scapegoat has to bear the sins of the entire family. They have to survive, alone, in the "desert" without the comfort or support of the family. So they must be strong in order to carry the burden.
2) They must be the most loving.
The Scapegoat sacrifices themself for the benefit of the family. Again, this is somewhat subconscious, but on some level they know they are doing this. They give up themselves so the family may appear to be "OK".
If YOU are also the family scapegoat - Wear the badge PROUDLY!! It means you are special. It means others are jealous of you. AND it means YOU my friend have integrity and independent thought. Remember, Jesus was a Scapegoat. Love always, Laura Jane Fetner :-)

nice blog... have a view of my blog when free.. ht...

2011-07-01T10:20:10.970-04:00

nice blog... have a view of my blog when free.. http://www.lonelyreload.com (A Growing Teenager Diary) .. do leave me some comment / guide if can.. if interested can follow my blog...

Re write this again, with the correct term "v...

2011-02-13T15:56:44.262-05:00

Re write this again, with the correct term "vicious circle".

Seriously, vicious cycle is not a phrase or concept- Stick it into Wiki. A vicious circle DESCRIBES a cyclical phase but the actual term is vicious circle.

I don't understand enough about this article b...

2011-01-13T13:57:06.943-05:00

I don't understand enough about this article but I want learn more and acquiring excellent information because that's terrific.

you have to accept all the responsability for your...

2010-12-22T10:50:58.676-05:00

you have to accept all the responsability for your acts, this is the first step to live a better life, if you want to live a more free life start from here.

hello

2010-12-17T12:59:37.826-05:00

hello

Good article we need more info like this about a s...

2010-06-17T19:44:21.178-04:00

Good article we need more info like this about a seldom addressed problem, scape goating.

Hi there! I, too, have felt a sense of overload wh...

2009-12-23T15:11:38.082-05:00

Hi there! I, too, have felt a sense of overload when it comes to things related to a job search. I created the How I Got My Job audio series as one way to be inspired from other people's success stories. Feel free to reach out and get in touch if you'd like: daniel AT howigotmyjob DOT com

You have some good ideas here. I know how I was ra...

2009-10-01T21:11:16.659-04:00

You have some good ideas here. I know how I was raised and it was mostly a blame-blame vicious cycle style. That wheel goes round enough and the rut becomes huge.

Thanks for sharing your blog and for visiting mine.

Sherry G
http://anursewithideas.blogspot.com/

For some reason when you enter this part of the si...

2009-08-24T07:24:55.282-04:00

For some reason when you enter this part of the site you don't see the main posts at Chapter 1
Looking forward to seeing you there!